Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Bring me that man meat
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
