my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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