If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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