I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just google imaged poop.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
