he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
