She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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