yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
