i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
