k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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