In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I want a musical about memes.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
