I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
