Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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