God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
