Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just found puke in my bra..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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