Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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