there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
