I love black thongs
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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