can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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