So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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