Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
