i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
