I'm so fucking centered right now
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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