you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
