The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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