Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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