I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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