you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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