You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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