hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sober January is a disaster.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I know her cup size but not her name....
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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