IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
