two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
