You're a womanizer and a bitch.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
