I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
