My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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