you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
