It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
