how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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