he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
