weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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