Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Randomize
