Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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