so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
