you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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