WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
