Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
