does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
