She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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