It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
