Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
