I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
