NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
