my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
