I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
