Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
